A Note to Self on Self Love

A Note to Self on Self Love

We, at Meritstore, planned to speak up on a topic that generally educational blogs do not touch upon, the concept of self-love has only recently been brought to light. This blog will dwell into the depths of self-love and inner conflicts that may seem uncommon but are in fact very common. Do not hesitate to share your opinions down below.

Nothing is more important than how you feel and think about yourself.

A high opinion about yourself who you are and what you do and basically a love for yourself is also one of the things that people often miss or have too little of in today’s society. In order to have stable mental health, you need to learn the art of self-love.

Say Stop to your Inner Critic

We all have an inner critic. A good place to start with raising your self-esteem is by learning how to handle and to replace the voice of your own inner critic.

This inner voice whispers or shouts destructive thoughts in your mind. Thoughts like for example:

You are lazy and sloppy, now get to work.
You aren’t good at your job at all and someone will figure that out and throw you out.
You are worse or uglier than your friend/co-worker/partner.

You don’t have to accept this though. There are ways to minimize that critical voice and replace it with more helpful thoughts. You can change how you view yourself.

The inner critic does help us to stay on track, however, it often exceeds its limits. Thus, you need to keep the critic under limits.

Use healthier motivation habits

To make the inner critic less useful for yourself and that voice weaker and at the same time motivate yourself to take action and raise your self-esteem it certainly helps to have healthy motivation habits.

Take a 2-minute self-appreciation break

This is a very simple and fun habit. And if you spend just two minutes on it every day for a month then it can make a huge difference.

Here’s what you do:

Take a deep breath, slow down and ask yourself this question: What are 3 things I can appreciate about myself? examples can be :

I am trying to make my parents proud.
Can make people laugh and forget about their troubles.
Am very thoughtful and caring when it comes to our cats.

Write down 3 things in the evening that you can appreciate about yourself

A nice extra benefit of writing it down is that after a few weeks, you can read through all the answers to get a good self-esteem boost and change in perspective on days when you may need it the most. Don’t try too hard, just write down the simplest things that you like about yourself.

Do the right thing

When you do what you deep down think is the right thing to do then you raise and strengthen your self-esteem. This sets the tone for the rest of your day. It is not always easy to do. Or even to know what the right thing is. But keeping a focus on it and doing it as best you can makes a big difference both in the results you get and in how you think about yourself.

One tip that makes it easier to stay consistent with doing the right thing is to try to take a few such actions early in the day. For example giving someone a compliment, eating a healthy breakfast and working out.

Replace the perfectionism

Few thought habits can be so destructive in daily life as perfectionism.

It can paralyse you from taking action because you become so afraid of not living up to some standard. And so you procrastinate and you do not get the results you want. This will make your self-esteem sink.

How can you overcome perfectionism?

Remember that buying into myths of perfection will hurt you and the people in your life. This simple reminder that life is not like in a movie, a song or a book can be a good reality check whenever you are daydreaming of perfection. Because reality can clash with your expectations when they are out of this world and harm or even possibly lead to the end of relationships, jobs, projects and so on.

Handle mistakes and failures in a more positive way

If you go outside of your comfort zone, if you try to accomplish anything that is truly meaningful then you will stumble and fall along the way.

And that is OK. It is normal. It is what people who did something that truly mattered have done throughout all ages. Even if we don’t always hear about it as much as we hear about their successes.

Be kinder towards other people

When you are kinder towards others you tend to treat and think of yourself in a kinder way too. And the way you treat other people is how they tend to treat you in the long run. So focus on being kind in your daily life.

You can for example:

Just be there and listen as you let someone vent.
Hold up the door for the next person.
Let someone into your lane while driving.
Encourage a friend or a family member when they are uncertain or unmotivated.
Take a few minutes to help someone out in a practical way.

Try something new

When you try something new, when you challenge yourself in a small or bigger way and go outside of your comfort zone then your opinion of yourself goes up. So go outside of your comfort zone regularly. Don’t expect anything, just tell yourself that you will try something out.

Stop falling into the comparison trap.

When you compare your life, yourself and what you have to other people’s lives and what they have then you have destructive habits on your hands.
So replace that habit with something better.

Look at how far you have come so far instead. Compare yourself to yourself. Focus on you. On your results. And on how you can and how you have improved your results. This will both motivate you and raise your self-esteem.

Spend more time with supportive people (and less time with destructive people)

So make changes in the input you get. Choose to spend less time with people who are nervous perfectionists, unkind or unsupportive of your dreams or goals. And spend more time with positive, uplifting people who have more human and kinder standards and ways of thinking about things.
Spend less time on an internet forum, reading a magazine or watching a TV show if you feel it makes you unsure of yourself and if it makes you feel more negatively towards yourself.

Then spend the time you used to spend on this information source for example reading books, blogs, websites and listening to podcasts that help you and that make you feel good about yourself.

Self-love is a practice that can only be possible if you work for yourself, on yourself. Never let anyone else judge your worth whether it may be a parent, friend, teacher or partner, you know that you are worth much more and deserve much better, however, do acknowledge the line between arrogance and a healthy self-esteem. Ever have a bad day? Treat Yourself.

We hope this article helps you to pick up yourself. Do voice your thoughts in the comments below. Why not try something new?

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